A few weeks ago, after having done our heavenly duties for the day, a bunch of us critters were lolling around spying on Mom. We like to check up on her and see what’s happening down on earth. We’d noticed that she spent a fair amount of time moping by the compost heap, chatting to the spot where Alpha had buried Ralph’s mortal remains.
Zed-Boy snickered and gave Ralph the nose.
Hah! So that’s what they thought of you eh! Compost.
Gave that meanie Basset Hound a slap with my tail… Oi you! Be nice! We’re in heaven now.
Ralph was about to point out that there were reminders of all the animals except Zed-Boy down by the compost heap, but I gave him the nose too. No need to point out the obvious.
Skunk ambled up in his shambley long-legged way and plopped down next to us on another bit of fluffy white cloud. We exchanged licks and slobbers. I’m rather partial to that Skunk. He’s a gentle old soul. Pity I never met him in real life, but then again, if he’d stuck around Mom and Alpha would never have come looking for me – so I guess things worked out how they were supposed to.
I’ve lined her up another cat! Skunk announced. One the same colour as Ralph and me!
Whaaat? Yowled Ralphie. So soon? She hasn’t finished being sad about me yet.
Gave Ralph a withering look. Really? We don’t want her to be sad. We like it better when she’s happy.
Ralph grumbled and mumbled a bit and Zed Boy smirked. Honestly, sometimes I think that dog should have gone down below to Old Nick instead of being a heavenly hound.
Let’s see it then – what’s it look like?
Skunk waved his paw in the direction of the Woolies parking lot. There.
Ralph nearly fell out of heaven laughing. That’s my replacement? He scoffed. That’s not a proper cat! That’s a cartoon creature.
Skunk looked a bit put out. The freckles on his nose crinkled up ever so slightly and his whiskers quivered. I sidled up closer and leaned on him a bit.
He grunted… oeff!
I feel so light and springy now I tend to forget that I’m still a bit of a pudgy Fudgie.
That’s a perfect kittycat Skunkers– he’ll fit in beautifully with that crazy family. Where did you find him?
Skunk admitted that he’d seen him lurking by the side of the road, all wet and bedraggled and had used his heavenly powers to entice the furball into the doggy parlour. He giggled a bit and confessed that he did not really imagine that Lulu, the parlour owner, would tidy him up as neatly as she did.
She’d taken a photo and put up a notice on their board outside with “Needs a good home”.
Ralph was still cackling and hooting – lying on his back with his manly wing-spurs flapping all over the place.
Skunk nudged me – Look… Mom’s checking out the pocket-Fudge’s paws.
Skunk always calls Gemma “the pocket-Fudge” because she’s brown and long but a quarter of the size of my own robust Fudginess.
We all held our breath to see what she would do next…
First she spoke to Alpha and he shook his head. Then she foofled around on her lap-top thingy. Tik tik tik.
Finally she loaded Gemma into the car and drove off – in the right direction.
Zed Boy was barking bored by this time and was trying to sit on Looseyfur, the little red devil.
Loosey just did a disappearing trick and poof! he appeared again next to Skunk. Zed looked around for somebody else to mess with but Slayer hissed and gave him the evil eye.
Mom and Gem walked straight into the parlour. She did not even look at the notice board. Skunk gulped. He closed his big brown eyes and concentrated hard.
She helped put Gemma into a cage and glanced up at the cartoon cat. Then she walked out and drove off. I looked at Skunk… Is this part of your plan?
He did not reply but continued concentrating intently.
A bit later mom came back. She was about to walk in the door but she backtracked and read the notice. She went inside. We all saw her waving her arms around and pointing.
Heads were nodded. Gemma came trotting out and mom took another look at that cat.
More heads were nodded. Skunk and I were about to do a paw version of a high five when that wretched mom gathered up Gems and walked off to her car. Leaving her cat behind!
Zed Boy howled with delight. You stupid mutt! You can’t organise a darn thing. Not even from heaven!
Poor Skunkie sloped off feeling very dejected. Even Ralph was a bit quiet. Slayer and Looseyfur looked at each other with slitty eyes. They’d always preferred Skunk to Zed and they did not like to see Skunk looking so downtrodden.
A few hours later Skunk gave a delighted whelp. Mom was hauling the cat box out of the spot where it lived and was getting back into her car.
We watched with glee as she drove back to that very same parlour and loaded that cartoon cat into the box.
The cat was safely on its way to his new home.
Skunk leapt around whooping like a crazy flying grasshopper and made faces at Zed Boy. Ralph was a bit put out and slunk off. Slayer and Looseyfur winked at each other and then went back to catnapping.
I smiled at mom with all my Fudgie fangs.